It started innocently enough. I watched some videos and bought some products to try. I encouraged my hair to form “juicy clumps” – large, defined curls. This is obviously very ambitious. Until then I didn’t even know what a “juicy loaf” was, but suddenly it became very important.
It didn’t turn out to be a juicy mass, but the curls were a little more defined. And I thought that if I could improve with a little effort, I might be able to improve even more with a big effort.
We learned all the buzzwords related to curly hair, including “propping” and “squeezing,” “co-washing” and “gel casting.”
kelly sackville
So I fell down the Instagram rabbit hole. I watched countless videos, all featuring women who looked like they stepped out of a shampoo ad. We learned all the buzzwords related to curly hair, including “propping” and “squeezing,” “co-washing” and “gel casting.” I studied different curl patterns, labeled them with numbers and letters, and eagerly tried to find my curl pattern. (I think it’s probably 2c with a hint of 3a, but I’m still not entirely sure why that matters.)
And I bought so many products trying to find my “holy grail”, the one that always gave me great results.
I tried 4 gels, 2 mousses, and 3 leave-in conditioners. Some worked better than others, but none gave me influencer curly hair or even reliably good hair, and some of the ones I bought were a complete waste of money. I bought a hair oil that flattens my hair to my head and a salon-grade shampoo that looks no different than the supermarket brand. I also bought a diffuser hair dryer that claims to eliminate frizz while drying, but it literally burst into flames on the first use and didn’t do anything for my curls.
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My 16-year-old daughter has deeply supported my hair journey. Not because she cared about my hair, but because she took over all the products I tried and threw away. She jumped on the half-empty bottles and pails, and, perplexed, quickly rolled up her wonderful curls and walked around.
I, on the other hand, never experienced the changes I was promised. Even on the best hair days, no one will notice a difference after following an influencer’s instructions to the letter. And, frustratingly, no matter what products I use, my curls only last until bedtime. The moment you put your head on the pillow (a pillow covered with a satin pillowcase, as the bloody influencer recommends), the pillow returns to its usual curly state.
My quest, like all quests, has finally come to an end. Just the other day, I found a photo of myself when I was 14 years old. Her hair was layered to shoulder length and curled beautifully around her face. It was completely natural. I didn’t know about gel until I was 16, and even then I only used it on my bangs. My youthful curls looked better with nothing on than my curls did after doing the 7-step routine.
