After years of struggle, I’ve cracked the code to styling children’s hair.
When I was a kid, my mom frequently combed, braided, and greased my 4B hair. Like many other young black women, I used to let my hair relax and force it to flow rather than spring. Throughout elementary school and middle school, I would sometimes get chemical burns on my scalp, but I didn’t know at the time that that was what caused them, and I kept them a secret from the adults.
As I got older, I learned more about the potentially dangerous medical side effects of regularly using relaxers. So as soon as my hair decisions became my own, I quit relaxers cold turkey.
After 5 years of having natural hair, I became pregnant with my first child. I hadn’t yet learned why my hair was so frizzy, so discovering other people’s hair expertise was scary. When my baby girl was sleeping on her back for months and her hair fell out like usual, I started working on regrowth. I vowed to keep her hair loose and only use natural brands that help nourish the growing hair.
I did everything I could to keep my daughter’s natural hair in tip-top shape, but I wasn’t very good at styling it.
I watched YouTube videos and read tutorials. I tried water lotions, hair lotions, and bought combs and brushes in different sizes. Still, I suffered.
Since I don’t have the exact same hair type as my daughter (she has a 4C), I thought the answer lay in products we couldn’t share. As it turns out, I was wrong.
Photo: Brooklyn White
A creamy hair lotion that brings out natural curls without making your hair stiff. Suitable for children and adults of all ages.
Miss Jessie’s, a Black-owned hair care brand started by two sisters in Harlem, came into my sight six months after I gave birth. I tried other creams, but the results were moderate.
I originally reached for Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercream Formula because it was safe for babies, but at over $30 per 8-ounce jar, it was too expensive for long-term use. Next, I tried the company’s Jelly Soft Curls, which left my baby hair crispy and flaky. Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curl Cream is a moisturizing styling lotion that ended up being perfect for me and my baby.
For her hair, use it immediately after washing. While your hair is still wet, part your hair evenly. The number of parts correlates with the style I want to do, so the one part in the middle is two ponytails, and the two vertical parts are four. I find it easiest to disassemble the product before applying it.
After a breakup, I start with Secred Nourishing Hair Oil (Beyoncé’s hair oil) or straight olive oil. Next, pour a nickel-sized amount of Pillow Soft Curl Lotion into your palms and use a wide-toothed comb to work it through your hair, making sure to detangle it. It has a sweet and clean baby lotion-like scent. I like the scent, but it’s not for everyone.
I also use a brush to spread the lotion evenly over the entire face. Repeat this process on each section of hair, making sure the hair is wet before adding lotion. Once that’s done, add a hair tie and brush the hair at the roots to clean it.
Personally, I use pillow-soft curls for my characteristic parted Afro hair and a smooth curly bun in the middle. I myself follow the same process, but I often use a paddle brush instead of a comb and brush combination. Define your curls without making your hair stiff. Pillow Soft Curls are perfect for both of us for detangling and styling because they’re as thin as watered-down lotion.
You can also use it to revive your daughter’s curls after washing. Pillow Soft Curls keep your hair moist and bouncy without weighing it down. Just wet your hair with a spray bottle and add some lotion.
This cream is especially suitable for twists, braids, afros and puffs on her and my hair. This was one of the products I used when I was dealing with severe postpartum hair loss. I also use it when my son’s tightly curled hair needs some moisture.
Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls will help you achieve styles you thought were beyond your abilities, including a ’90s-inspired multi-twist look. Photo: Brooklyn White
Both my son and daughter benefit from Miss Jesse’s lotion. Photo: Brooklyn White
Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls will help you achieve styles you thought were beyond your abilities, like a ’90s-inspired multi-twist look. Photo: Brooklyn White
This curl cream is hair-sparing and versatile, but it’s not perfect. You can probably use less, but the bottle recommends using a palm-sized amount for the entire head, and for a family of three using it regularly, it costs $20 per bottle. It’s powerful and doesn’t cost much per shot.
Also, dirt may accumulate around the hair tie as it dries. You can usually remove dry cream with a brush, but doing so can be a pain. What’s more, since the lotion is just in a tube, even small children can easily open the top and spray it.
However, I look forward to doing my daughter’s hair in the morning. I love the moments when it’s just her and me together. Old me would have been shocked, but I started trying out more elaborate hairstyles on her – and they weren’t half as good. For me, practice and pillow soft curls make perfect.
This article was edited by Hannah Lim and Catherine Kast.
